Sunday, October 30, 2011

Top 5 Best Boobs from Captain America

5. Madame Hydra (Viper) - This lady's beauty is only surpassed by the vast depths of her evil cunning.  She has captured and manipulated Captain America on many occasions (along with Wolverine, Spider-Woman, the X-Men and a host of others).  She can definitely fill the last few hours of your life with excruciating pleasure or pain, but one thing is for sure - they'll be your last.

4. Sinthea Schmidt (Sin/The Red Skull) - Her evil pedigree as daughter of the Red Skull is unrivaled.  Originally causing trouble as 'Sin', she eventually was disfigured trying to put her father's mind into Steve Rogers body after his assassination.  Now she has the same hideous face, but with a pair of rocking boobs.  How would you like to wake up to that face on your morning wood, Cap? 

3. Diamondback (Rachel Leighton) - She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and Captain America couldn't resist 'rehabilitating' this criminal (where the term Captain Save-a-Ho came from).  Their romance was interrupted by a never ending string of superhero nonsense which both accepted with some form of relief.  She throws huge diamond spikes meaning this is one high maintenance lady.

2. Sharon Carter (Agent 13) - Inspired by tales of her aunt Peggy's daring adventures alongside Captain America during WWII, Sharon joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and became a field agent.  Originally portrayed as a damsel in distress this lady is a hardened espionage agent who is tough as nails.  She's willing to do anything for her country and an expert at using her feminine wiles to get men to spill their guts.  She was played by the luscious Amanda Righetti in the recent movie Captain America: The First Avenger.  Her boobs make the toughest Avenger weak in the knees!

Runner Up - Captain America as drawn by Rob Liefeld has the largest man-boobs you will ever wish you never saw.  Liefeld wins the lifetime award for worst anatomy after gender-bending poor Cap's chest in this horrible drawing. 

1. Margaret "Peggy" CarterPeggy Carter was originally a freedom fighter with the French Resistance during WWII.  She and Captain America met and fell in love behind enemy lines, but their love was short-lived as Peggy was injured during a bombing raid and Steve was frozen in suspended animation for forty years.  Being from the same era she would have been the perfect match for Steve Rogers.  Definitely a better match than her baggage-carrying super-spy niece Sharon (can you say 'damaged goods'?).  Peggy tops our list because the recent movie Captain America: The First Avenger revealed she was really a British officer who participated in the super soldier program and was righteously stacked as her portrayal by Hayley Atwell proves.  Too bad poor Cap never got to frolic in that cleavage!


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